There is a fine line between being an outsider and a leader; a revolutionary and a lone wolf.
Four years ago I had a mystic tell me that my goal in life was to tear down walls and build bridges. Over the course of time I have noted how spot on she was; this attribute reigns true almost to a fault, an idiosyncrasy if you will.
There is a stark Aloneness that can rear it’s head when one chooses to hold his/her thumb in many pies, so to speak.
A non comital abundance of respect reverence and close acquaintances.
The forlorn alienation is one that could only be understood by another visionary; if not received by a like minded soul; pretension and even arrogance could be assumed.
“What are you talking about? Alone? You have people around you all the time!”
The quintessential Aquarian mind; a deep love and philanthropy for people as a whole, but dislodging ones self from the vulnerable standpoint of intimacy. Coming off as; sometimes the complete opposite of what they are, or what they meant to portray.
My blight is my choice and any lamentation of said ordeals are purely for therapeutic intention. I know myself and I know without progression, stimulation and humanitarianism I would wither away in to limbo. Though at times it’s hard to not get lost in the “Why’s” and the confounding feeling of segregation; the desires for things I cannot even name.
The wondering if there is any point to the trials i withstand or if they are only put there by myself to say that I have withstood them.
These voices of doubt; sprout like fungus against the growing thicket of my ambitions. They too have a purpose. They toughen the skin and remind ones self of humility. They remind me of my own humanity, and my places both high and below; and eventually they remind me that I don’t have to be alone at all, and shouldn’t have to be. Unless of course; that is what I/we choose.